Waiting

I finished my clarinet choir piece and submitted it for review to the principle clarinetist of the group it was written for (Nancy used to be my instructor).  It has my nerves on edge, as Nancy is one of the greatest clarinetists and musicians I know.  If she says the piece is good, I have written something worthy of a professional group of clarinetists, directed by another instructor of mine who is also at the top of my "best musicians" list.  If she says it isn't good, than I have just shown two old instructors that I do not have enough talent in composing on my primary instrument... which would suggest I don't have the talent to compose at all.  I submitted it early this afternoon and have been waiting for her response ever since.
Two weeks ago or so I submitted my piece I was re-writing for the local high school band to the band director to get his approval.  They may put it on the late spring concert.  I don't want him to perform it unless he thinks it is worthy of his talented band.  But I haven't heard back from him.

Holding my breath on compositions is probably the worst.  It is the part of my music "career" that I have the least experience and honestly the least talent.  So this waiting is terrible.  I want someone to tell me if what I've done is any good or if it was a big flop. 

My picture doesn't have a lot to do with waiting, other than when I get nervous the instrument I tend to turn to is piano.  It's another part of the music world I'm not the greatest at, but it is calming to play and the only things I know on it are hymns, which are even better for calming nerves.

The Store

For the past two years I have been working part time at the local music store, Lou Kraus Music.  I had started looking at part time work, applying at a couple of hotels for housekeeping jobs because my lessons weren't picking up.  I wasn't looking too seriously because I didn't think I would find something that would allow me to give private lessons and be here for my husband when he had time off. 
Then I received an email.  "Hi, Kristin.  I've been meaning to call, but I'm an email junkie so here it is.......Would you be interested in a part time job?"
So, there I was, an unemployed musician being asked to work at a music store having not even applied.  I didn't even know the job was available.  To top it off, the hours were flexible and willing to work around lessons and my husband's schedule, the business was small and owned by a Christian couple.  Actually, after responding to the initial email with a warning that I don't believe in working on Sundays, Bob responded in length about his view on the matter.
I met with Bob and Shannon a couple of days after and the next week I started my job.  I fell in love with it right away.  Not only was I finally dealing with music everyday, but I haven't stopped learning about music since. 

I can now restring a guitar (though I admit it's slowly and while muttering choice words).  I know how to clean up a trumpet, put together a trap set and put together a Clavinova.  All things I didn't learn in college.
I have also made a lot of connections through this job.  I know directors and teachers from all over the area now.  I have been given performing opportunities and teaching opportunities by being introduced to Mr. Schlake, the local band director.  Mr. Helzer, the choir director here in town and a good friend, seems to always find ways to involve me in his choir concerts and musicals.  My favorite performance of all time was playing in the pit orchestra for The Seussical, where I played four different instruments along side talented musicians.  Not only have I gotten performance opportunities, but I have made friends through these things.  Nate and Danielle Helzer have become friends, which isn't a term I use lightly.  Danielle is my running partner and a fellow woman in Christ whom I respect and enjoy spending time with (Danielle, if my grammar was incorrect there, I apologize!). 
Bob is a great boss and I would consider him a friend, too.  He knows everything about everything in the store and is good at explaining things, even to not-so-bright me.  I don't know how things will go for the next week and a half, as he will be in India on a missions trip.  If you think about it, send a quick prayer for him on this trip!

 Shannon is a fun boss to have.  She doesn't come in often while I'm there-- the joke is she is avoiding me.  She introduces me to all sorts of different foods and introduced me to zappos (love!). 
Luis, the right hand man, is really good at what he does.  He is our car audio guy and repair man.
Other employees include two high school kids.  I work with Cassie a couple of days a week and she is the recipient of much grief at the store.
I don't think I've gone a day without laughing at work.  Multiple times even.  I don't think I've had a day where I've gone home and regretted taking this job.  It's pretty much perfect for me. 

The first picture is our entrance to the shop and the famous wall of Guitars.  The second picture is plain hilarious-- Luis looking at me suspiciously and Bob holding his coffee-- a typical day at the office.  And this final picture is of my desk.

Not My Own

Last week Shannon (my boss) showed me a picture of her on facebook from before she started making a habit out of walking.  She pointed out how her whole body has slimmed down, even her face.  I hadn't really looked at my face as any different from a few years ago so I looked at some pictures of myself.

Before

After

I have definitely slimmed down.  Which is great.  I am healthier than I have ever been.  My "stats" are all great.  My BMI is a low normal, my blood pressure is awesome, my heart rate is lower than average.
But.
Because I am now considered an "athletic" person I am asked about my routine and what I feel about food and exercise a lot.  And I talk about it a lot.  When it becomes a part of your daily life it becomes a big part of who you are and that inevitably ends up in conversation.  I want to make sure that I am open about my beliefs on health and fitness without isolating it from an even bigger part of my life.  So I want to share a bigger picture idea today.

My health, as much as I work on it, is not my own.  Ultimately, as with everything else in this life, my health belongs to God.  Everything I have is on loan from Him and can be taken from me at any time.  My God has blessed me with good health and has allowed the benefits of my caring for my health.  At any given moment, He can decide He wants something different for my life that could take that all away and I have to be okay with that, because He is All Powerful and All Knowing.

He allows the stomach flu to hit us hard simply by touching the wrong door handle.  He allows missed steps to blow out knees.  He isn't in the habit of looking away only to look back and see someone was hit by a bus.  He knew it was happening, He made it to be.  He isn't surprised when the dianosis is cancer.  And any of this could easily happen to me.

It is by the grace of God I am where I am, and it will be by the grace of God if any of these things were too happen.  I have to be able to accept what He has in store for me because His plans are better than my own.

This isn't to say that I will stop working diligently on my health, but I will rejoice in it.  Every run is God given!  And I will pray that if the time ever comes, I can rejoice in whatever other circumstances come my way, even if it means I never run again.

What's On My Spoon?

Laura-- this is for you!
Ok, so it doesn't look as appetizing up close.  But that, my friends, is homemade peanut butter.  Much like homemade bread, I'm blown away by how easy this is to make. 
So easy, in fact, that after walking the dogs I had 15 minutes before Jim got home for lunch, so I threw Jim's lunch in the oven.  Since Jim and I eat together but separately (my lunch is my "healthiest" meal of the day and Jim just eats what's fast), I wondered what I would eat since I wasn't going to eat his selection.  I just ran out of my last tub of honey roasted peanut butter from WholeFoods and have been missing it the past few days.  I have had a sack of peanuts for a while now just sitting, waiting for the time when I was brave enough to try.
Well, I had 15 minutes and needed something to eat, so why not now.  I didn't even look up a recipe, no time for that today.  I put a cup of peanuts in the blender and let it go.  When it was blended into dry crumbs I decided to add just a bit of water (I would guess, though I haven't the slightest less than a 6th of a cup).  Blended until it looked like fresh ground peanut butter. 
It tastes almost as good as my WholeFoods tub.  Next time, I might add a bit of peanut oil instead of water.  Or, healthier even, just buy honeyroasted peanuts because they are awesome.
Then, because I'm curious like this, I just put a little bit on a spoon and dove in to the homemade jam I got from a lady that goes to our church and had a mini peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the bread.  It was fantastic!

And, the best part?
Jim isn't even home for lunch yet.  That's right, I managed to make something I've never made before, make up a new snack combo, turn on my computer and tell you all about it. 

It makes me wonder where my fear of homemade cooking and baking came from.  I remember when homemade bread seemed impossible.  As long as you'll be home to punch the dough down it really doesn't take a lot of effort.  Homemade pancakes without bisquick used to seem like something only my really good cook and baker friends did, not me.  Homemade dinners in general horrified me when we were first married, and now my favorite time of day is making dinner (this is a somewhat recent development).
 I don't know where the fear stems from but I know I'm not the only one.  Friends like Adrienne have discovered homemade baking and cooking aren't that hard a long time ago.  Maybe someday I will be a diva like her and be able to sew my own stuff, too.  That one seems pretty doubtful, though. 
Now, this isn't to say I'm a gourmet chef or anything, but hey, at least I can make homemade peanut butter and Jim doesn't complain about any of my homemade meals! 
Have a great until I post next (which will be later today!)

Alicia

First off, please ignore the really crazy hair on my part.  I don't know what I did that morning, but wow, I look... strange.

Alicia, on the other hand, is gorgeous as usual in this picture. 

Alicia started a diet and exercise program a year or two before I did and like me, it became more than just a weight loss plan, it became a lifestyle.  She is the definition of diligence to me, continuing on with a diet that can easily be misunderstood, training and running and learning to better her health and her families. 
When we visited her and her family in December, it was pretty much our primary topic of discussion.  Health, fitness, diet.  We had similar views on most everything and those things that we didn't necessarily act the same on (for one example, I still eat bread [homemade with organic products] while she does not) were not things of disagreement, just a difference.

The thing I liked most about discussing these things with Alicia was her attitude.  She, like me, is hard on herself regarding these things but would never attack someone else for their diet plan or lack thereof.  She is encouraging to those of all levels of fitness.  She is the kind of person who lets her actions speak louder than her words in this department.  Not to say she doesn't talk about her fitness (I did just mention that health was basically our main topic of conversation) but seeing her energy and devotion and the results she is able to show speaks much louder than the judgemental glances and comments I've seen from other fitness fanatics.

As I mentioned in my old blog, there are two camps regarding weight and health in the Christian community.  The accept yourself for who you are and the preserve the temple camps.  While most of us fall in between these two on a daily basis, many cling to the side they relate more to in the case of conflict.  The funny thing is, they are both right.  They both have biblical ground to stand on and just temporarily forget the other verses that support the other side.    That is why people like Alicia, who strive for her own personal health but doesn't attack others who don't, are what we need more of in the Christian community.

It's all about balance.  I'll talk more on that tomorrow.  But for now, I thought I'd share a picture of Joe and Jim, the men who have to put up with the dietary and schedule changes we have made to work on our health.

Bumps and Bruises

On Saturday, I took a tumble on some loose gravel.  I tend to roll a lot when I fall, to avoid any broken bones or extra pains.  So I was covered in dust.  The pickup I was trying to avoid in the back of the Western parking lot stopped and watched me as I got up, dusted off, prayed I wasn't bleeding and kept on running.  It was another 2 miles home and I was just hoping I wasn't bleeding all over the inside of my running clothes.

It's hard to see the bruises in that picture.  The ones on my thigh are a little darker but I didn't think they were appropriate to take pictures of ;).

But it's okay because I didn't get seriously injured.  Bruises heal, cuts go away, sore muscles stop hurting.  And I got to come home to this...

Pancakes

Sorry for the break.  This next week will feature double picture days since I was relaxed with my posting recently.  The problem I find is that I have so many topics that I want to talk about but I feel they all need special attention and time, something I just don't have often. 

So, today, something simple to hold you over until tomorrow.

Because Jim attends a men's bible study on Saturday mornings that provides breakfast, the only time that we are having breakfast at the same time is Sunday.  I've made it a point the past two months to make a homemade breakfast for the two of us to share.  Unfortunately, I've been late to worship team practice almost every Sunday since I started this, but eventually I will have the schedule figured out.

This morning I made pancakes.  We are out of eggs and almost out of regular milk.  I originally thought I would just make some form of oatmeal, but pancakes still sounded good.  So with a little bit of searching online and substituting with what I had on hand, I made some pretty great pancakes this morning that I thought I would share.

Dark Cherry Oat Pancakes (my version is egg and dairy free)
Made 4 pancakes
2/3 C Flour (I used organic unbleached white)
1 C fruit (I used frozen dark sweet cherries and highly recommend)
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
1 1/3 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 Tablespoons Rolled Oats (Again, I used Organic)
1 Tablespoon Oil (website suggested vegetable, I used coconut)
2/3 C Milk (I used almond milk)

These come out a little thicker than your average pancake.  I suggest squishing down the fruit so there isn't any dough parts (but, since there isn't egg, you can definitely eat the dough parts with no concern!).

I topped our pancakes with some locally made Strawberry Rhubarb Pineapple jam.  Ever since our honeymoon I have topped my pancakes with jam instead of syrup.  Depending on your jam, it's healthier, and it makes it more fruity!

Being a few minutes late to worship team?  I'm sorry, but totally worth it.  These were awesome.  A combination of pancake and oatmeal.  Mmm.