Spring Patience

I've already mentioned my love for spring.  The smells, the sounds, the new life.  I have a pretty pleasant disposition this time of year.  But I am reminded this time of year of one of my biggest struggles sin-wise.  Impatience.

See, in the spring, you have to wait.  Though sometimes it seems like the world turns green overnight, it doesn't.  It takes some time to make our yard green, it takes a little while before my flowers will bloom in the front of the house.  Apples don't just show up on the trees.  And for the impatient this time of transition, as awesome as it is, can be frustrating.

I'm becoming more laid back and less impatient as I get older.  I think it's being married to the most level headed person I know.  It might also be all the prayers I have prayed on the subject.  It may also be that God has been preparing me for a time in my life where I will need great patience.  Or, I may already be in that part of my life.

When we are asked if when we are planning on having kids, Jim and I give vague answers, all of which are true.  "We aren't trying to not have kids".  "When God wants us to".  "Someday".

When I was in high school and had a "timeline" for my life, I thought I would have kids by now.  I actually planned to be done having kids by 25, so I could be a young, hip mom.  I turn 25 in less than two months.  I don't think that plan is in the cards.  I also planned on being published by now and be a stay at home mom.  I don't care if it makes me sound young and naive, but I've learned that my plans (though they sound good) aren't that great... not in comparison to God's plans.

And God's plans for me don't include children right now.  There is a reason that my human eyes can't see, but He knows.  Sometimes, God uses trouble having children for His glory.  Hannah's story, every time I read it, brings a pain that I don't normally feel.  Sarah (Abraham's wife) waited a looooong time for a baby.  Elizabeth was beyond childbearing years when John the Baptist was born. Some women were unmarried or completely barren their whole lives.  They weren't being punished, they were being used for His Glory. 

So when seeing my nephew smile or hearing about another pregnant friend can hurt sometimes, I know God has something in store for me and I'm willing to wait for it-- and I can rejoice for those who don't have this struggle (and love on my nephew!).  And, while I wait, I know I'm in good company, because God has set aside some amazing people to deal with this and I can't wait to see what He does in their lives.

So, here's to the future.