That's Not Me

Exercise and food are common topics for me.  I enjoy talking about making things homemade, making things healthy and things I do to push myself.  I enjoy listening to others ideas and sharing my own.  I like listening to different diets, different ideas people have regarding food and what is and is not healthy.  A majority of the time, many healthy diets are very similar with only slight differences, either catering to preference or a strict belief about something.  Often times, when my personal experiences come up, it's very positive.  Times when Shannon and I celebrate a smaller clothing size, when I get teased (in a good-natured way...I hope) about my diet, or when Jim can't contain himself and blurts out "you are so freakin' hot!".

There are things, however, that I would rather not discuss.  Things that make me uncomfortable or things I'd rather forget.  My weight loss, for one.

Two years ago I lost 35 pounds.  I was one pound away from being considered overweight and now stay at a 19 BMI (lowest healthy BMI).  It was a lot of work and dedication.  I wish I could say I'm proud of my accomplishment, but really, I'm just embarrassed I ever got that way in the first place.

I'm not that girl anymore.  I was only "that girl" for a short while, but I am no longer like her.  Kristin was a sloth.  Lazy.  She didn't know anything about food other than it tasted good and she wanted it quick and easy.  She knew how to do the bare minimum with the least amount of exertion.    She tricked herself into believing she didn't look bad or that her behavior (or really, lack thereof) wasn't disgusting.

That girl isn't here anymore and I'd rather forget about her.  I'd rather forget that it took 35 pounds to look and feel the way I do now.  This isn't to say I look, feel or act perfect now, but I have come a long way.  And talking about weight loss reminds me of who I was and I like to keep that part of the story to myself.  I don't want to be thought of as fatty-gone-thinner.  I want to be thought of as me now, healthy and happy and motivated.

Because it isn't about weight loss anymore, it's my way of life.  It's my personality.  I am now a runner (even though it still feels weird saying that... like I'm lying or something).  I am the kind of girl who eats granola, drives a Subaru, recycles.  I'm the kind of girl who loves to bike with her husband and walk to work.  The kind of girl who likes bell peppers, healthy desserts and bleu cheese.

I guess what I'm getting at is... it's been 2 years.  I'm not her anymore.  She's gone and an upgraded model is here.  In a couple years, I hope to look back and see the areas that have improved since now.  I can be content with who I am now, for now.

Picture courtesy of Impact images, when he did my picture for the band concert.