Waiting

I finished my clarinet choir piece and submitted it for review to the principle clarinetist of the group it was written for (Nancy used to be my instructor).  It has my nerves on edge, as Nancy is one of the greatest clarinetists and musicians I know.  If she says the piece is good, I have written something worthy of a professional group of clarinetists, directed by another instructor of mine who is also at the top of my "best musicians" list.  If she says it isn't good, than I have just shown two old instructors that I do not have enough talent in composing on my primary instrument... which would suggest I don't have the talent to compose at all.  I submitted it early this afternoon and have been waiting for her response ever since.
Two weeks ago or so I submitted my piece I was re-writing for the local high school band to the band director to get his approval.  They may put it on the late spring concert.  I don't want him to perform it unless he thinks it is worthy of his talented band.  But I haven't heard back from him.

Holding my breath on compositions is probably the worst.  It is the part of my music "career" that I have the least experience and honestly the least talent.  So this waiting is terrible.  I want someone to tell me if what I've done is any good or if it was a big flop. 

My picture doesn't have a lot to do with waiting, other than when I get nervous the instrument I tend to turn to is piano.  It's another part of the music world I'm not the greatest at, but it is calming to play and the only things I know on it are hymns, which are even better for calming nerves.

The Store

For the past two years I have been working part time at the local music store, Lou Kraus Music.  I had started looking at part time work, applying at a couple of hotels for housekeeping jobs because my lessons weren't picking up.  I wasn't looking too seriously because I didn't think I would find something that would allow me to give private lessons and be here for my husband when he had time off. 
Then I received an email.  "Hi, Kristin.  I've been meaning to call, but I'm an email junkie so here it is.......Would you be interested in a part time job?"
So, there I was, an unemployed musician being asked to work at a music store having not even applied.  I didn't even know the job was available.  To top it off, the hours were flexible and willing to work around lessons and my husband's schedule, the business was small and owned by a Christian couple.  Actually, after responding to the initial email with a warning that I don't believe in working on Sundays, Bob responded in length about his view on the matter.
I met with Bob and Shannon a couple of days after and the next week I started my job.  I fell in love with it right away.  Not only was I finally dealing with music everyday, but I haven't stopped learning about music since. 

I can now restring a guitar (though I admit it's slowly and while muttering choice words).  I know how to clean up a trumpet, put together a trap set and put together a Clavinova.  All things I didn't learn in college.
I have also made a lot of connections through this job.  I know directors and teachers from all over the area now.  I have been given performing opportunities and teaching opportunities by being introduced to Mr. Schlake, the local band director.  Mr. Helzer, the choir director here in town and a good friend, seems to always find ways to involve me in his choir concerts and musicals.  My favorite performance of all time was playing in the pit orchestra for The Seussical, where I played four different instruments along side talented musicians.  Not only have I gotten performance opportunities, but I have made friends through these things.  Nate and Danielle Helzer have become friends, which isn't a term I use lightly.  Danielle is my running partner and a fellow woman in Christ whom I respect and enjoy spending time with (Danielle, if my grammar was incorrect there, I apologize!). 
Bob is a great boss and I would consider him a friend, too.  He knows everything about everything in the store and is good at explaining things, even to not-so-bright me.  I don't know how things will go for the next week and a half, as he will be in India on a missions trip.  If you think about it, send a quick prayer for him on this trip!

 Shannon is a fun boss to have.  She doesn't come in often while I'm there-- the joke is she is avoiding me.  She introduces me to all sorts of different foods and introduced me to zappos (love!). 
Luis, the right hand man, is really good at what he does.  He is our car audio guy and repair man.
Other employees include two high school kids.  I work with Cassie a couple of days a week and she is the recipient of much grief at the store.
I don't think I've gone a day without laughing at work.  Multiple times even.  I don't think I've had a day where I've gone home and regretted taking this job.  It's pretty much perfect for me. 

The first picture is our entrance to the shop and the famous wall of Guitars.  The second picture is plain hilarious-- Luis looking at me suspiciously and Bob holding his coffee-- a typical day at the office.  And this final picture is of my desk.

Not My Own

Last week Shannon (my boss) showed me a picture of her on facebook from before she started making a habit out of walking.  She pointed out how her whole body has slimmed down, even her face.  I hadn't really looked at my face as any different from a few years ago so I looked at some pictures of myself.

Before

After

I have definitely slimmed down.  Which is great.  I am healthier than I have ever been.  My "stats" are all great.  My BMI is a low normal, my blood pressure is awesome, my heart rate is lower than average.
But.
Because I am now considered an "athletic" person I am asked about my routine and what I feel about food and exercise a lot.  And I talk about it a lot.  When it becomes a part of your daily life it becomes a big part of who you are and that inevitably ends up in conversation.  I want to make sure that I am open about my beliefs on health and fitness without isolating it from an even bigger part of my life.  So I want to share a bigger picture idea today.

My health, as much as I work on it, is not my own.  Ultimately, as with everything else in this life, my health belongs to God.  Everything I have is on loan from Him and can be taken from me at any time.  My God has blessed me with good health and has allowed the benefits of my caring for my health.  At any given moment, He can decide He wants something different for my life that could take that all away and I have to be okay with that, because He is All Powerful and All Knowing.

He allows the stomach flu to hit us hard simply by touching the wrong door handle.  He allows missed steps to blow out knees.  He isn't in the habit of looking away only to look back and see someone was hit by a bus.  He knew it was happening, He made it to be.  He isn't surprised when the dianosis is cancer.  And any of this could easily happen to me.

It is by the grace of God I am where I am, and it will be by the grace of God if any of these things were too happen.  I have to be able to accept what He has in store for me because His plans are better than my own.

This isn't to say that I will stop working diligently on my health, but I will rejoice in it.  Every run is God given!  And I will pray that if the time ever comes, I can rejoice in whatever other circumstances come my way, even if it means I never run again.

What's On My Spoon?

Laura-- this is for you!
Ok, so it doesn't look as appetizing up close.  But that, my friends, is homemade peanut butter.  Much like homemade bread, I'm blown away by how easy this is to make. 
So easy, in fact, that after walking the dogs I had 15 minutes before Jim got home for lunch, so I threw Jim's lunch in the oven.  Since Jim and I eat together but separately (my lunch is my "healthiest" meal of the day and Jim just eats what's fast), I wondered what I would eat since I wasn't going to eat his selection.  I just ran out of my last tub of honey roasted peanut butter from WholeFoods and have been missing it the past few days.  I have had a sack of peanuts for a while now just sitting, waiting for the time when I was brave enough to try.
Well, I had 15 minutes and needed something to eat, so why not now.  I didn't even look up a recipe, no time for that today.  I put a cup of peanuts in the blender and let it go.  When it was blended into dry crumbs I decided to add just a bit of water (I would guess, though I haven't the slightest less than a 6th of a cup).  Blended until it looked like fresh ground peanut butter. 
It tastes almost as good as my WholeFoods tub.  Next time, I might add a bit of peanut oil instead of water.  Or, healthier even, just buy honeyroasted peanuts because they are awesome.
Then, because I'm curious like this, I just put a little bit on a spoon and dove in to the homemade jam I got from a lady that goes to our church and had a mini peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the bread.  It was fantastic!

And, the best part?
Jim isn't even home for lunch yet.  That's right, I managed to make something I've never made before, make up a new snack combo, turn on my computer and tell you all about it. 

It makes me wonder where my fear of homemade cooking and baking came from.  I remember when homemade bread seemed impossible.  As long as you'll be home to punch the dough down it really doesn't take a lot of effort.  Homemade pancakes without bisquick used to seem like something only my really good cook and baker friends did, not me.  Homemade dinners in general horrified me when we were first married, and now my favorite time of day is making dinner (this is a somewhat recent development).
 I don't know where the fear stems from but I know I'm not the only one.  Friends like Adrienne have discovered homemade baking and cooking aren't that hard a long time ago.  Maybe someday I will be a diva like her and be able to sew my own stuff, too.  That one seems pretty doubtful, though. 
Now, this isn't to say I'm a gourmet chef or anything, but hey, at least I can make homemade peanut butter and Jim doesn't complain about any of my homemade meals! 
Have a great until I post next (which will be later today!)

Alicia

First off, please ignore the really crazy hair on my part.  I don't know what I did that morning, but wow, I look... strange.

Alicia, on the other hand, is gorgeous as usual in this picture. 

Alicia started a diet and exercise program a year or two before I did and like me, it became more than just a weight loss plan, it became a lifestyle.  She is the definition of diligence to me, continuing on with a diet that can easily be misunderstood, training and running and learning to better her health and her families. 
When we visited her and her family in December, it was pretty much our primary topic of discussion.  Health, fitness, diet.  We had similar views on most everything and those things that we didn't necessarily act the same on (for one example, I still eat bread [homemade with organic products] while she does not) were not things of disagreement, just a difference.

The thing I liked most about discussing these things with Alicia was her attitude.  She, like me, is hard on herself regarding these things but would never attack someone else for their diet plan or lack thereof.  She is encouraging to those of all levels of fitness.  She is the kind of person who lets her actions speak louder than her words in this department.  Not to say she doesn't talk about her fitness (I did just mention that health was basically our main topic of conversation) but seeing her energy and devotion and the results she is able to show speaks much louder than the judgemental glances and comments I've seen from other fitness fanatics.

As I mentioned in my old blog, there are two camps regarding weight and health in the Christian community.  The accept yourself for who you are and the preserve the temple camps.  While most of us fall in between these two on a daily basis, many cling to the side they relate more to in the case of conflict.  The funny thing is, they are both right.  They both have biblical ground to stand on and just temporarily forget the other verses that support the other side.    That is why people like Alicia, who strive for her own personal health but doesn't attack others who don't, are what we need more of in the Christian community.

It's all about balance.  I'll talk more on that tomorrow.  But for now, I thought I'd share a picture of Joe and Jim, the men who have to put up with the dietary and schedule changes we have made to work on our health.

Bumps and Bruises

On Saturday, I took a tumble on some loose gravel.  I tend to roll a lot when I fall, to avoid any broken bones or extra pains.  So I was covered in dust.  The pickup I was trying to avoid in the back of the Western parking lot stopped and watched me as I got up, dusted off, prayed I wasn't bleeding and kept on running.  It was another 2 miles home and I was just hoping I wasn't bleeding all over the inside of my running clothes.

It's hard to see the bruises in that picture.  The ones on my thigh are a little darker but I didn't think they were appropriate to take pictures of ;).

But it's okay because I didn't get seriously injured.  Bruises heal, cuts go away, sore muscles stop hurting.  And I got to come home to this...

Pancakes

Sorry for the break.  This next week will feature double picture days since I was relaxed with my posting recently.  The problem I find is that I have so many topics that I want to talk about but I feel they all need special attention and time, something I just don't have often. 

So, today, something simple to hold you over until tomorrow.

Because Jim attends a men's bible study on Saturday mornings that provides breakfast, the only time that we are having breakfast at the same time is Sunday.  I've made it a point the past two months to make a homemade breakfast for the two of us to share.  Unfortunately, I've been late to worship team practice almost every Sunday since I started this, but eventually I will have the schedule figured out.

This morning I made pancakes.  We are out of eggs and almost out of regular milk.  I originally thought I would just make some form of oatmeal, but pancakes still sounded good.  So with a little bit of searching online and substituting with what I had on hand, I made some pretty great pancakes this morning that I thought I would share.

Dark Cherry Oat Pancakes (my version is egg and dairy free)
Made 4 pancakes
2/3 C Flour (I used organic unbleached white)
1 C fruit (I used frozen dark sweet cherries and highly recommend)
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
1 1/3 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 Tablespoons Rolled Oats (Again, I used Organic)
1 Tablespoon Oil (website suggested vegetable, I used coconut)
2/3 C Milk (I used almond milk)

These come out a little thicker than your average pancake.  I suggest squishing down the fruit so there isn't any dough parts (but, since there isn't egg, you can definitely eat the dough parts with no concern!).

I topped our pancakes with some locally made Strawberry Rhubarb Pineapple jam.  Ever since our honeymoon I have topped my pancakes with jam instead of syrup.  Depending on your jam, it's healthier, and it makes it more fruity!

Being a few minutes late to worship team?  I'm sorry, but totally worth it.  These were awesome.  A combination of pancake and oatmeal.  Mmm.

David

This isn't the cutest picture of David that I have (I have quite a few) but I'm missing my husband and this picture features him, too.
Jim has been gone for a whole... day.  And he'll be back... tonight.  But I'm not going to deny being lonely when he's gone for even a night.  I hope to sleep like a rock tonight, after such a terrible night last night.
Anyway, David is our German Shepherd.  The biggest baby in the family.  He is very talkative, from whining to get our attention, to telling us detailed stories about his day, to singing along with my students.  He is also very, very needy.  He has to always be right next to you.  All. The. Time.

Being the big dog he is also the smartest and most underfoot.

He shares my feelings on Jim being gone.  He hasn't been able to leave me alone since Jim left.  He's been crying more than any self respecting dog should.

Rory-Princess

My other Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix puppy is Rory.  She is half the size of Gray weight wise and has about twice as much personality.  The little red collar you see on her was her pride and joy.  She pranced around the house even when it was way too big.  She LOVES being held by Jim and has a magnetic trick so he doesn't let her down.  Rory definitely has Jim wrapped around her... paw.

Gray-Boy

One of the reasons that I started this blog but have been a little lazy on is to share my life with people who knew me before I became the current, adult version of me.
Many of my friends who follow this blog went to the church I grew up in.  They knew me as Kristin Fenenga, the awkward high school girl dating the math nerd boy.

I'm still awkward but my name isn't the only thing that has changed.  It might surprise some, but I'm actually "all grown up" now.

Some of you may or may not know, but Jim and I are the loving parents of three wonderful dogs.  Until God blesses us with a child, or if He has a different plan for us, we are pet parents through and through.  It makes the truth of not being "real" parents more bearable, but it also has been a great joy in and of itself.

Gray, or more commonly known as "Gray-Boy", is a Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix.  He was originally a different color (bet you can't guess which color!) but is our little blond now.  He is the quietest and most well behaved of our small pack.  He is also the most cautious, which can lead to instances when he is NOT well behaved at all. 

Generally, little Gray-Boy is a cautious, somewhat stiff little dog who obeys the rules.  He's a little on the chubby side and will gladly accept any treat he's offered.  His favorite locations are buried beneath a pile of blankets or by my feet on the couch.  His best trick is staying until he's called and his cutest trick is "up" where he dances on his hind legs.  He has dark skin under his blond coat and wrinkles his forehead often, so he has ripples.

He is my Gray-Boy, Gray-Buddy, or Prince Gray.

And this face perfectly describes his cautious demeanor.  I'm getting to close to his face right there.  He likes his personal space.  Can't say I blame him, I have a bit of a bubble myself. 

Orange

Today was a beautiful January day so I chose to walk to choir and took Rachel with me.  Rachel is a friend who has traveled the country with me.  We both have family living in the same town in Nevada, so we took off on a road trip a couple years back and have been friends since. 
While we were walking the sun went down.  The Artist Himself gave us a beautiful sunset, with all different colors of orange that seemed to surround us.  Obviously the orange was strongest and brightest at the sun itself, but the clouds all around us were swirls of orange in different hues, the ground had an orange tint, our faces looked warmer.

And waiting at home for me was a guilty little treat I made this afternoon-- jello cookies.  Which, if you haven't made, are really easy and different cookies you can make in any flavor you please.  Mine were orange in color because, well, they were made with orange jello.
Yes, those of you who were wondering, I do sometimes have cookies.  I admit that I feel guilty after eating unhealthy versions (chocolatecoveredkatie.com has some healthier versions), but they are a rare treat. 

So it seems orange was my color today.  I never used to like orange, but moving to Ogallala where the school color is orange and sunsets are almost always a beautiful orange, I'm starting to warm up to it.

Have a good night!

Goal-- Check

I like to plan out running routes that are different than my normal loops.  One of the loops I've wanted to try since I finished my first 3 mile run has been to run the bypass here in Ogallala.  For locals, we started at Northpark.  We took the bike path up to the highway and around and turned back in at the cemetery, then West P to Ethel ending back at our cars in front of the boyscout cabin.  For nonlocals, I'm sorry.  I have no way of explaining that to you.
Anyway, the run was over 8 miles with hills.  Danielle needed an 8 mile run and I wanted to do this particular route.  Goal completed for me, run checked off for her.  Again, it was a pleasure to run with such a great partner.  Danielle is definitely an accomplished runner, much better than I am.  She was very encouraging even after having to wait for me to tie my shoe TWICE (apparently I can't double knot... I need little kid Velcro shoes).  Thanks again, Danielle, for not only running with me, but being a great friend to talk to on Saturday mornings.
So, here is a terrible picture of me after running.  Danielle, I'm not going to deny my jealousy that you look like a pretty girl stepping out into the cold while I'm pretty sure I look like I just ran a lot.

Knowing that the runners high of accomplishing a goal like that would wear off before the end of the day and that the soreness of running an almost completely road run of that distance would kick in at some point, I kept myself busy today.  We did our second and final grocery store stop for the month (spent less than anticipated but did buy one emergency item--Aleve for Jim's knee), got our bikes out to enjoy the day, and I cleaned some on Jim's car and the house.
So far, no soreness, I've been up and down enough all day to avoid it.  I did notice, however, that my feet were a little tender after today's endeavor, so I decided I would pamper myself tonight with an at home pedicure.  I do these every so often anyway, but tonight was the night for another one, completely free.
In case you are interested...
I use lavender scented bath salts in hot water with a small amount of warm milk (apparently that's good for you) scrub my feet with the stone, wash with lavender body scrub, then lavender body butter.  Then, of course, I trim the nails and paint.  Free, wonderful and good smelling.

What does composing look like?

Do you ever find yourself asking this question?




I didn't think so.

But, because the question has been asked and I can't leave myself hanging, I'll answer that.

My first song was all handwritten, all 27 parts carefully played on piano and then transposed and written on staff paper print outs.  Then, it was re-written on a free trial of Sibelius, which wouldn't allow you to save and the print outs had SIBELIUS written on the back so the notes weren't readable.  The reaction I had to this (imagine nervous breakdown) after writing the whole thing, ended with a purchase of Finale, the program I now use.  After that was performed by my high school band I asked for feedback and a trombone player (don't worry, not the one I'm married to) said the trombone part was boring.
This is probably where I should share why I wrote the first song to begin with.  I mentioned people holding their tongues a while ago, but I have to admit that sometimes negativity is just what I needed.  Young me gave up easily... until someone told me I couldn't do something or I wasn't good enough.  Oh yeah?  Oh YEAH?! Imagine practically silent 13 year old me making fists and punching the air in front of  my mirror, getting pumped to prove someone wrong!
So when this trombone player said it was boring, I started another piece originally entitled "For the Trombones".  It ended up not really focusing on trombones, but there part was much harder, thank-you-very-much.  The college band played this one, I sent it in for publication and was denied.  Actually, the company went bankrupt before they denied me, but from what they said to me, I was being denied anyway. 
So I decided to keep writing and get published one day.  Stubborn little high school me, and slightly less stubborn but more educated and more talented college me kept writing.  Determined.

Adult me isn't so much concerned about publishing.  I am a young lady who has no big connections in the industry and no real formal education to back me.  Basically, I'm the kind that they throw out before they look at my piece.  I'm fine with that, but I'm not going to stop writing.

So, this is what my life looks like this afternoon.

Clothes Swapping

During my no-spend month, I've been going through portions of the house getting rid of things and rediscovering things I didn't remember having.  This morning was clothes.  I am not the most fashionable of women, but I hope I look "cute" in most of my clothes.  Sometimes, because of size changes or realizing it really doesn't fit my personality or my body style, things get pushed back to the back of the closet.
So I rearranged to start wearing some "new"/old things I'd forgotten about and get rid of some things that won't work for me.
Normally, the pile of won't works go to a clothes drive or the local consignment shop.  But, as I read through more no-spend month articles I found a clothes swap party blog.  I had never heard of such a thing but it looked like a lot of fun.  It's a party where women get together with decent clothes they no longer wear and swap with friends for new to them clothing.  Sounds like a free blast... except I don't know of a group of gals that are all the same size.  And there is no better way to destroy self-esteem and make a party miserable than announcing your dress size in front of a room of your friends.  Besides, what fun would a party be where everyone is a different size so nothing new would fit you, anyway?

So, instead of doing that, I'm throwing an online swap party with my blog friends.  You are invited.  If you aren't interested, don't do it.  But if you have some good quality clothes you need to get rid of, post a picture.  If you aren't comfortable posting a size, wait until someone asks about it in an email or something.
If you see something that tickles your fancy in my little pile here, let me know.  I'll try to get them to you personally as soon as possible (sorry, this is a free for friends deal not a paid transaction, you might have to wait) or I will mail them. For free!
Top picture: Green boyfriend cardigan (M) Old Navy, Orange (M) Old Navy, Pink with "frills" (S)(but oversized) Maurices,  Dark purple (S) runs short but super cute, Black Dress top (M) Maurices has a cool neck line, I just don't wear it often.  Red Faded Glory T (M)
Middle: Ranging in size from 6-10
Bottom: All Medium, various brands.  Belt.
And if you happen to come across something in your closet that might fit me... let me know... I need some fashion help!

Clarinet Choir

A few weeks ago I was listening to a piece of classical music with my boss, Bob, at work.  I recognized the melody and knew that I had to have played it at some point.  I tried later that day and into the evening to find a recording of it but failed.  It made me sad. 
Bob teased that I was "reliving the glory days" before I left work and he was probably right.  My experiences in high school and college were a great time that I find myself wanting to experience again from time to time.  Maybe everyone gets a little nostalgic, but to me, it's saying goodbye to a way of life and a passion I can no longer fully participate in.
When it comes to what I play and how well I play it I don't like to bring it up, I don't like to talk about it and I don't like to brag.  Which is why the common answer I give to how many instruments I play is "a few", how well I play is "I do alright" and other vague answers to such questions.  I've always found the minute you brag it's to someone who is better than you are and they won't be impressed.  I find that being specific, even if you don't mean to sound arrogant comes across that way.  So vague and simple is usually best.
But I am going to admit some things right now that I normally wouldn't say.  I am a good musician.  I have to remember the "glory days" to be reminded of that.  I was a first chair in a Europe tour, All-State, honor band clarinetist.  I was a special guest oboist.  I was lead alto in a jazz ensemble.  I was a soloist, a composer, an arranger, a sought after musician.
I chose a different path than performer when I left school and married Jim.  I accepted the minute I said "yes" to Jim's proposal that I was giving up that future and I know I made the right choice.  But I would be lying if I didn't sometimes miss it.
I miss having a reason to practice or play with an ensemble of any size.  It's why I never complain about being on the special music schedule, it's why I learned bass (to play in the worship team) and it's why when Nate Helzer offers me an opportunity to play in the pit orchestra for a musical or accompany his choirs I jump at the chance.  It's why the Seussical was the highlight of my year last year-- playing in a group, even a small one, the challenges it presented, the multiple instruments, everything I love to do. 
Not to say I don't find things to do.  I am always looking for new music for special music at church, Karen and I work on solos of mine, I am always thinking of things to do with an ensemble and I'm always thinking of things to write.  It's why I give lessons and why I love working at the music store.
It's also why I'm re-writing a piece for the OHS band to hopefully perform sometime this spring.  It's also why I didn't hesitate to accept when the Clarinet Madness clarinet choir in South Dakota offered to play something I write.  The clarinet choir will be particularly special to write for, as two of my most beloved private instructors perform in it (which I admit also freaks me out a little bit!). 
Music will always be a part of my life.  While I may no longer be able to perform in concert bands, orchestras or jazz groups, I will fill my life with what I can.  It's a part of what makes me, me.

My Morning Tea

Danielle, thanks again for the run this morning.  I enjoyed a new route for a change of scenery, even though it was somewhat a lack of scenery.  Thank you, also, for the conversation.  Sometimes I realize we have more in common than I thought and I really enjoy getting to know you
For everyone else, obviously, I went for a run with Danielle this morning.  I was doing laundry before I left and my planning skills lapsed as I started the machine with my winter gear in.  So, I put on capris and a light jacket.  The run was fine, but by the time I got home I was cold.  I even told Jim as I walked in the door "I don't think I'll ever get warm again".  So, after a warm shower, I made a nice hot cup of tea.
I drink Chai Tea a lot, and the Good Earth brand always has quotes on the tab at the end of the tea bag.  Today, mine read:

"Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt".  -Abraham Lincoln.

 I have always loved this quote.  James 1:19 says "... everyone should be slow to speak and quick to listen..." and I've always thought of these together. 
I thought it was quite the coincidence that this quote would appear today after my conversation with Danielle this morning.  As we were cooling down we started talking about comments people make to us.  To talk without thinking seems to be a condition we all suffer from and have all been hurt by.

I admit to hyper-sensitivity and over-analyzing.  Everything people say to me I run through filters to see which ways they could mean it. I'm worse in that I even take into consideration what people DON'T say.  No one said anything nice today, I wonder if that's because there is nothing nice to say?

So this is coming from someone who is very aware of words, and should be taken with a grain of salt.  But, I find myself wondering today how often I've said something to someone without thinking that could have been hurtful? Or, have I held my tongue when I could have been a blessing? 

I remembered a few sore spots in my history this morning.  Comments that were made that when I think of them I have to forgive the person who said them again because my pride builds defenses and I get angry just thinking about them.  I remember lesser comments that have hurt me.  I realize that most often these comments are made without any realization that they could cause pain. 

So, I will pray that God will help me guard my tongue in the coming week.  That I won't hold my tongue from encouragement, but I will hold it from "comment", advice or judgement.  That I will listen more than I speak. That I will speak only when I know what to say, so that I don't prove that I'm a fool (I'll keep that as my little secret) I will guard my mouth (and my typing), to keep myself from calamity (Proverbs 21:23), from unnecessary pain and drama.   I will be quick to apologize and forgive for comments made. 

And I will finish my tea.

Friday Night Parrish Style

Friday nights are the one night a week where Jim and I are able to completely relax.  Tonight after work we got in our gym attire.  I did some yoga, Jim ran for a while on the treadmill.  I made homemade burritos.  The best part of the night?  The comfy clothes.  There is a close to perfect feeling after some relaxing yoga, a nice warm shower, and that moment when the sweat pants come on.  Ahhh...

Responsible for Things

I apologize if I have any daily readers that were disappointed to not find a new post last night.  I had every intention and actually started four or five times before I just gave up and chalked it up to block sort of day... both writers block and photographers block.  Nothing seemed interesting enough to write about, which is entertaining considering the other things I've written about haven't been terribly interesting.
Today is day 5 of our no spend month so there really isn't much to report as far as our actions other than we are still on track, which I would sure hope to be the case not even a full week in.  I was afraid by now we would be craving our favorite dining out options, especially since they aren't available, but so far, none of that.  At least not that is being admitted, anyway.
I did discover on returning from the grocery store I had forgotten something on the grocery list.  Dishwasher detergent capsules.  There are 4 left under the sink.  In an effort to conserve them and still keep my house clean, I have been doing the dishes the normal way.  Don't worry, I'm not complaining, but it's been something new in the Parrish household to have our dishes all hand washed.

Though I wouldn't consider myself a big spender, Jim and I have a tendency to waste money on each other sometimes.  I was thinking about this today as we watched TV during lunch.  The TV and sound system have been two things that Jim has purchased since we moved here that I questioned but eventually gave in because, well, I love him and wanted to see him happy with a new toy.  I didn't think we needed a screen THAT big, or a system that could get THAT loud.
But, I'm guilty of getting things, too.

The couch you see here was a purchase we made when we first moved here.  The kitchen has gadgets that I don't necessarily need (though I use all of them, I hate keeping things I don't use).  This is the view from our front door looking into our home.  I appreciate so much the opportunity to own a home and the things in it and I feel blessed and burdened with the responsibility to keep everything nice.  Now that we aren't spending money I am reminded again of that responsibility for the things I already have.  Why would I want more things to care for?
So today I feel the need to clean my house extra well and take care of my things extra carefully, because God gave them to me and what He gives, no matter how temporary, is my responsibility to care for. 

Trying To Teach Triathlon Training

One of my final purchases of 2011 was The Triathlete's Training Bible.  I have been learning all sorts of interesting things about preparing for this sort of event.  Jim had some interest in competing in the Tri-Ogallala race this coming summer and asked me to help him train.  So, being the organizer and the runner of the family, I’ve taken on the responsibility of learning everything I can about the sport so that my dear husband is prepared.  I plan on helping him with his diet, I plan on training with him and then I’m going to somehow find a big foam finger and cheer him on come race day.  I will have to enlist the help of some high school girls to make one of those snazzy homemade cheering shirts.

I will not be competing in this race.  It is important that I cheer for my husband at the sporting even he wants to be involved in, and I couldn’t be focused on that if I were concerned with my own race.  I also ride a cruiser style bike with no gears.  It will be enough for me to know that I can do it, without the official time or without being involved.  I think I will enjoy being on the sidelines for this race, and the sense of accomplishment my husband will get will be a far better feeling than if I were to do it myself anyway.

It’s exciting that the next few months will be training for us without any stress of my own race.  Because this year, I’ve decided I run for fun.  I am not going to compare myself to other runners as much as I want to, but focus on how great I feel.  I don’t run to race or for anything or anyone else.  And my husband is racing to prove to himself he can do it.  It will be nice to train with him.  Above being my husband, Jim is my absolute best friend and this is one more thing I get to do with him.  

Inventory Day

Though the store was closed for business today, we were more busy than we are normally at Lou Kraus Music.  As the title suggests and most business owners understand, it was inventory day.  A day set aside to check lists, scan barcodes, make sure we have what the government thinks we have and make sure we know what is in stock and what is not. 
I don't know how many people know this about me, but I'm kind of a semi-obsessive list maker.  I love lists, I love organization, I love everything having it's place.  I frequently have "inventory days" at home to determine if the things I own really have a place in my home, if they are good and worthy of taking up space.  There are things that don't fit.  I hate taking up storage space so often times "stock" that doesn't belong is given away or sold.  Sometimes, I hold on in hoping it will become useful one day.  I had multiple clarinets for that reason, most of which have finally been distributed in some way or another to other people.  Sometimes, inventory day can get me into trouble because I find where I'm lacking and that makes me want to shop, sometimes purchasing more things that will later be considered unworthy of taking up space.  Regardless, I like knowing what I have. 
My seriously strange love for list making, the little scanner gun I get to play with, and the full staff all accounted for make inventory day my favorite day at the store.  It flies by, with each little "beep" of my scanner signifying a little check mark in my brain of one more thing scanned and done, a success high with every one. 
Bob, Shannon, Luis and Cassandra were all there today.  I love a full house at the store.  It happens rarely, since there really isn't use of four people at the store on a regular basis.  Unlike the majority of people, I love my job, my bosses and my coworkers.  When I worked at GE Money, I didn't care for what I did, I didn't care for the upper, middle, or lower management, or the fact that there were so many layers of management.  I had a few friends for coworkers but not enough to make up the many most definitely NOT friends.  I had no passion for scanning documents and I made no connections that helped me along in something I was passionate in.
This job (which, I basically got because Shannon liked my laugh and I know something about music) is completely different.  I come to work and do something I like and am surrounded by something I love all day.  I may not be a guitar genius or pro-audio know-it-all and I may have to have Bob answer 95% of the questions people ask (because he is both a guitar genius and pro-audio know-it-all), but I love it.  My bosses are great and fun, my coworkers are funny and nice. 
So today, I celebrate list making and a great job with great people by sharing a picture of our newest LKM team member.  Known as Nachorita by us, Cassie by everyone else, she holds the super-fun scanning gun ready to tackle another row of sheet music!  Thanks, Nacho, I enjoyed it even more with your help!

This is NOT A Resolution

I repeat, this is NOT a resolution.  It might be starting on the first of the year and it might sound exactly like something that someone would say if they were starting a resolution, but it isn't.  It's a challenge.  Just to make that clear.

January is going to be our “No Spend Month”.  After a few months of vacations, Christmas presents, new restaurants opening and unexpected expenses, we feel it’s time to re-establish our financial goals and make them a reality.  It’s an experiment that I’d like to share.  And since everyone is different in their financial responsibilities, I have set my own rules for the month. 

What we CAN spend money on

-          Bills.  That’s a no-brainer.  We won’t have any debt or electricity being shut off.

-          Two grocery store visits for predetermined groceries.  No deviations.

-          Emergencies.  I’ve never read a blog, article, or anything on the subject of a no spend month where an emergency didn’t come up.

-          Our anniversary date (we planned on seeing the second Sherlock Holmes but it wasn’t available at our theater) I have cash set aside for.

-          Tithes.

What we CAN’T spend money on

-          Eating out, our most common monetary slip.

-          Extra grocery stops for “one thing” that end in multiple things.  2 trips.  That’s it.

-          Extra items.  We are set on clothes and luxury items.

-          Entertainment.  We have Netflix and movies of our own. 

It will be interesting to see what this will teach us.  I am looking forward to a little extra money in the bank and knowing we can go without spending when we have to.  Anyone else ever tried this and have any tips or tricks?
Picture is of the change that was in my purse a few minutes ago.  And, by the way, this is picture 10.  356 left to go.